Andre the Butcher

2005 "Dead Meat. It's what's for dinner."
3.9| 1h27m| NR| en| More Info
Released: 01 February 2005 Released
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Budget: 0
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Andre the Butcher will make sure you pay for your sins.

Genre

Horror, Comedy

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Andre the Butcher (2005) is currently not available on any services.

Director

Philip Cruz

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Andre the Butcher Audience Reviews

Steineded How sad is this?
Robert Joyner The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one
Aubrey Hackett While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.
Taha Avalos The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.
theglovesareoff Before people get all crazy, the above rating is on, overall, how good a movie it was. It was somewhat clear, and had some funny/creative moments in it. Now, for more specifics.The Cons: This movie drags. It's about an hour and a half, and if this is the only entertainment or focus for the time you watch it, it will be hard to resist turning it off. However, if you're having a get together or friends over or something like that, this would be fun. The acting is bad. The special effects aren't good. And it's nowhere near scary or disturbing.The Pros: (1) At one point, there is a fight between two cheerleader squads. I've never seen a horror movie with two cheerleader squads, much less two of them duking it out. (2) Ron Jeremy is the killer. It's really nice to see this guy branch out, clean his image up a bit for the kids. (3) There's this guy who's always screaming for mercy. He's been severed at the waist, and he asks for people to kill him. He's like a mini, hugely-apparent easter egg every time he shows up. (4) The end, while somewhat boring, gets points for creativity. Let's just say that Holy Urine used to condemn a butcher to hell, well, that's pretty funny. (5) Oh, yes, and the narrator: an old guy playing the harmonica as he uses modern vernacular. Pretty priceless.Conclusion: If you're looking for a good piece of film or a thrill, do not get this movie. If you're looking for a good, half-brained, 'interesting' piece of horror to keep on while doing something else, it might be worth checking out.
hodson_2008 Well, what can I say? We rented this for my friend's 18th birthday, and regretted it. Between the horrible dialogue, sub-par 70's gore, and semi-pornographic content, this movie is just about enough to make you want to rent a chick flick or an Al Gore movie.This movie has absolutely no continual plot until roughly 20 minutes before the end. You follow 4 horny cheerleaders, 2 lonely convicts, and a crazed cannibalistic serial killer. There is really no point to most of the film, no story to explain anything at all. The plot finally thickens when you learn the back-story of one of the convicts, and the story of Andre (played by ex-porn star Ron Jeremy) is finally revealed. However, even this is hard to follow and very cheesy.If you're into poorly-written scripts, un-passable blood, and low-grade softcore teen porn, then I would suggest buying this movie. In fact, save us all the pain, and buy EVERY COPY YOU FIND. No one else really wants to see it.
Shanti Salazar I waited over 2 weeks for Andre to arrive thru Netflix and it was definitely worth the wait. There's not much to do in my town so I watch A LOT of movies, and all kinds. Andre The Butcher really didn't meet my expectations, which was a good thing. Andre is probably the best low-budget indie I've seen in the last 3 years. I call it an indie and not a horror film because there is a lot more going on in this film than just pretty faces and slasher gore. Unlike most shoestring digital movies out there, Andre actually has good actors, sharp dialog, good camera work and its just a damn funny movie. Yeah, its obvious this wasn't made with the budget of Titanic folks. But the filmmakers really got a lot of bang out of their buck.The only negative thing I would mention is the boxart. The front of the DVD box makes it look like a straightforward gorefest, which is definitely not the case. I can see a lot of disappointed horror fans out there in this regard. I would recommend that horror fans and audience in general not get fooled by the sinister boxart. This is best described as a comedy with horror elements- the kinda flick to watch with the gang and a kegger. Once you understand the true nature of this film, it is a blast! I hope these guys make more movies, and more with that delicious hottie April Billingsley. She can lick chilli off my toes anytime! ;)
Brandon Windish I like "Andre the Butcher". I really do.And I'm not a plant, or a crew member, or one of the actors, or a sniveling jerk who enjoys the anonymous superiority of mean-spirited bad-mouthing on a flick's message board...but I'll tell you what I am: A life-long fan of horror films.I am. So much so, that I'd even ask Clive Turner to sign my Fango #134. Seriously. Which can only mean that I am not only extremely forgiving, but also ridiculously undemanding. Of my enjoyment of horror films, that is. I'm not even gonna compare "Andre..." to other direct to video fare. Since when has a horror movie deserved that? Excuse me for invoking a cliché; but do any of us really put "The Exorcist" and "Slumber Party Massacre 2" back to back and discuss the parallels of their merits and letdowns? Theoretically, of course; we all know "Slumber Party Massacre 2" has no faults. Gosh, look me, going on and on. Okay, here we go: 10 THINGS I LIKE ABOUT "ANDRE THE BUTCHER" (...in no particular order. Bear with me if you can...) 1) The lack of pretension. Thank God, Phil Cruz isn't a moralist, that's all I'll say.2) The fake-ass spider.3) Justin Capaz as Jimbo...allow me to direct your attention to this character. And allow me to remind you of two other characters from two other horror films: Grady in "Freddy's Revenge" and the @$$hole Boyfriend in "Slumber Party Massacre 2". Three brilliant actors? Quite possibly.4) Fast pace. You think it moves to slow? It's because you just looove the indie cred of digging newer Troma movies.5) Fat people dying because they love to eat.6) Jumping from behind a tree into karate stance with a boner.7) Body double.8) I happen to think the "It's Good!" joke is very funny.9) "No nudity clause" 10) Holy urine.Like I said, I'm not too demanding. And maybe it has to do with the fact that I wasn't sitting by myself after renting this thing. I didn't pop it into my DVD player and fast-forward after two seconds, and I didn't drool over my remote at "half-mast" waiting for the sex scenes only to be disappointed at their lack of any real sexuality, thus holding a grudge over a flick for it not allowing me to get off. In fact, if I had any advice to give some particularly vitriolic reviewers of this movie, or lonely people the world over--rent "Teenage Cavegirl". Seriously. That'll do it for you.Look, obviously I don't need much to enjoy myself. A little blood, a little boobs, an explosion and a fake-ass spider. And if that's what you want, you'll probably dig "Andre the Butcher". You certainly won't get it in "Pledge Night". Sorry, I'm starting to sound like Subovon from Houston.Guys, check this movie out. Support independent film, and if you can make a better movie, please do! We'd all love to see it. And I mean that in the most heartfelt, honest way. In fact, most of us will probably even help you make it. Because if there's anything we life-long horror fans of horror love, it's more horror movies to be life-long fans of.And that rhymes.