Evil Alien Conquerors

2003
4.7| 1h29m| NA| en| More Info
Released: 03 December 2003 Released
Producted By: Nada Pictures Inc.
Country:
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Info

Inept beings from the planet Kabijj land on Earth and attempt to behead all of its beings and take over the planet

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Director

Chris Matheson

Production Companies

Nada Pictures Inc.

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Evil Alien Conquerors Audience Reviews

Karry Best movie of this year hands down!
Raetsonwe Redundant and unnecessary.
Huievest Instead, you get a movie that's enjoyable enough, but leaves you feeling like it could have been much, much more.
Hayden Kane There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes
FilmFlaneur Speaking as someone who loathed such witless films as DUMB AND DUMBERER, Chris Mathieson's film EVIL ALIEN CONQUERORS was never an obvious choice. But Mathieson's reputation as a writer of minor cult material (The BILL AND TEDs 1 & 2, MOM AND DAD SAVE THE WORLD) gave this, frequently slated, vehicle some curiosity value. Two gormlessly arrogant aliens, 'Du-ug' and 'My-ik' from the planet Kabijj arrive on Earth with a mission to behead the population within 48 hours. Unfortunately the deadly swords they've brought meant for the job are reduced to the size of cocktail sticks on arrival. While they think up alternate plans to enslave humanity, they become temporary lodgers with slacker Kenny. Now awaiting in terror the arrival of their alien enforcer Croker they are strangely drawn by the discovery of two odd mono-browed women at the laundrette, and the attractions of hairy feet..CONQUERORS demands a particular sense of humour to enjoy it thoroughly which undoubtedly splits audiences down the middle (my girlfriend for instance told me never to play it in her presence again) but I found it continuously amusing, with few flat moments. Despite the ramshackle nature of it all, there's a lot here that's just naive and plumb-weird enough to stay in the mind. This while it comes nowhere near the grim, unfunny commercialism of a DUMB AND DUMBERER. The difference is that the off the wall naivity of CONQUERORS is a saving grace, not a lumbering handicap. Mathieson clearly wrote out what *he* thought was ludicrous on a micro budget. The cast play the result through straight, with never a distracting wink-wink made to an waiting audience, who at first might expect some recognition of such a personal joke. Du-Ug's continuous threats of "you will die in agony!!" to all who annoy him; the weird vocal play between the two aliens and their jump suit uniforms; the arrival of the much feared Croker, always shouting "I am the Mighty Croker!!" but unable to understand how feeble he really is, in the fast food restaurant ("we've got another one" says the bored til girl); the Lynchian mono-browed women, the balloon flying device, the My-ik's obsession with Smirnoff Ice; it all adds up to a package which is by no means terrible IMHO, if not side splitting, but quotably crackpot enough in a Saturday NIGHT LIVE sort of way to warrant seeking out as a real oddity.
pennysong3000 A low-budget film with great comedic acting and a wonderful story line. Comedy doesn't get much better than this. Don't watch this if you like the kind of blah humor found in such shows as "Friends" or "When Harry Met SAlly", but if you like smart, absurd, fun movies, this is right for you! I normally only write an IMDb review when I see a stupid movie and want my friends to see my comments on it, but in this case I genuinely feel a good movie went largely unnoticed. Was it even in theaters? Its great. "SUNCHIPS AND CRYSTALS GEYSERS!". The premise is aliens come to earth to kill everyone, but they have underestimated the task and soon fall for earth's charms anyways, such as Supertramp and SMirnoff Ice.
Enchorde Recap: My-ik and Du-ug is sent to Earth to conquer and kill all mankind. To complete their task they have two and a half day, then a 100-feet tall giant human-eating monster will be sent after them. Unfortunately for our two evil conquerors, their swords came through the transport extremely small. Now the aliens have to trust their abilities, skill and superiority to finish their task. Unfortunately, they have none. And discovering such treasures as Smirnoff Ice, and two lovely ladies, they start to doubt their mission.Comments: Now, there are good movies, and there are bad movies. In the bad category there are just plain bad movies, and there are so bad movies that they're funny. This movie creates a completely new category. This movie is so extremely awfully bad, that it is not even remotely funny. What was supposed to be jokes, was just plain stupid. What was supposed to be a story was a bad edited, poorly explained, predictable mess. What is supposed to be the great ending, is just a coverall dressed man, stumbling about screaming. And that is supposed to be the best in the entire movie? Now, I understood that this was low budget, but please, I've seen far better movies with far less budget. Written by Matheson, also the author behind Bill & Ted, I can't imagine what he has done to loose all talent the past decade. Where Bill and Ted is a masterpiece (in comparison anyway) in fun simplicity and a success on all levels, Evil Alien Conquerors fails in every aspect. Acting performance is as bad as other aspects of the movie, and i can't imagine how actors like Diedrich Bader and Tori Spelling ended up in this mess, it wasn't for the money obviously.The best part of the entire production is the title 'Evil Alien Conquerors' that actually made me smile, and fooled me into waste 86 minutes of my life. I want them back! 1/10
katalen This movie is about two "evil alien conquerors" who must behead every human on earth within 2 1/2 days or a giant from their planet will come and behead them AND everyone on Earth. Now, it's not for everyone, I know. But it is SO FUNNY just because of it's absurdities. For instance, Crokar (the GIANT from their home planet) comes out of the portal the same size as everyone else, but he still thinks he's GIANT. (watch the movie and you'll see why I capitalize that.) Basically, it's a slightly absurd, stupid movie that you have to laugh at. My friends and I joked about it for hours (and still do). It's a great movie to see with friends.