Harpies

2007
2.3| 1h29m| NA| en| More Info
Released: 23 June 2007 Released
Producted By: Intandem Films
Country: Bulgaria
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Info

Jason Avery is an ex-cop now working as a museum security guard. Armed thieves break in intent on stealing a priceless obelisk that's stored within this vault-like stone structure. The scientist behind the theft talks of the obelisk giving him the power to control harpies, demonic winged female monsters of classic mythology. Through a series of contrived events, the obelisk opens a time portal that Jason promptly falls into, crash landing over a thousand years in the past in a land threatened by evil harpies.

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Director

Josh Becker

Production Companies

Intandem Films

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Harpies Audience Reviews

UnowPriceless hyped garbage
Sexyloutak Absolutely the worst movie.
Robert Joyner The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one
Maleeha Vincent It's funny, it's tense, it features two great performances from two actors and the director expertly creates a web of odd tension where you actually don't know what is happening for the majority of the run time.
TheLittleSongbird I had a feeling that Harpies would be bad, but this bad? No, I was not expecting that actually. Other than some novelty value and a somewhat enjoyably hammy performance from Scott Valentine, Harpies has no redeeming qualities and is one of SyFy's very worst. The film looks cheap for starters, with choppy editing, scenery that never feels authentic and lighting that doesn't add anything to the atmosphere. But even they are not as bad as the special effects for the harpies which are so shoddy and fake that you are laughing by how hysterically awful they are. The script is just as poor, with dialogue so cheesy that it would make the cheesiest cheeseburger bland and flat delivery. The story is incredibly dull and predictable, with nothing of real interest happening, and the action sequences are the most inept of any movie that I've seen. The direction is limp and unimaginative and the pacing is sluggish. The characters have no likability or life to them, you are annoyed by them and nothing is done to develop them that well. The acting is awful, Stephen Baldwin's lead performance is so lazy that you are wondering whether he's even acting at all. Overall, an absolute waste of time, in all honesty not in a while have I seen a movie this bad. 1/10 Bethany Cox
fearfulofspiders I get a kick out of watching the awful movies the Sci-Fi Channel releases during the weekend, and by golly, Stan Lee's Harpies is without a doubt, the worst film to be featured yet.There's many implausible actions the writer for this garbage wrote, such as the lame excuse of a threat Stephen Baldwin's character makes to a fellow security guard, or the great sketch of a trebuchet he later provides to a fellow warrior.The special-effects are laughable. From the usual bad CG used in other Sci-Fi movies, the harpies in this film are cringe-worthy in that you'll laugh till your sides hurt. There's scenes where the harpies were suppose to be added in later during post, but what we get are warriors hacking and slashing at invisible things in front of them or in the air. To get an idea of this trash's budget, there's a moment when an elderly soldier falls from his horse after a harpy dismounts him sending the soldier onto what should be a dirt path, but a quick cut shows a younger man with black hair falling onto a beautifully green field -- with no wig at all. There's also trick angles, where a spear hits a soldier to make it look like he's been impaled, only to see briefly that he is holding it under his arm and to his side. Other moments include: fake swords (the kind that push in when pressed upon a hard surface to give a seemingly real stab) and corny blue screen.The harpies are so ugly looking, one could wonder if anyone took this project seriously. From the big-tooth dentures, to the matted hair, these woman are funnier looking than scary.The music is terrible. While trying to have some sweep, it comes off as something an audience member would chuckle to. When one of the main warriors is slain in battle, the choral work is even more laughable.The dialogue is atrocious. From the villain explaining his mistakes and intentions to his dim-witted harpies, to the weak "jokes" Stephen Baldwin's character makes here and there.The acting is so bad, it's bewildering. Peter Jason has a dual role as the sorcerer and the professor (who somehow manages to grab some of the lamest mercenaries in movie history) and the lazy performances by Baldwin and some of the other warriors, who seem like they want to take a nap rather than express any emotion in their monotone deliveries.Overall, there is not one compliment one can give to this wretched "film". It's simply grotesque, and the only way this could even be considered good, is if this was a parody and it was done with the best of intentions of being this awful -- which considering from the moronic director Josh Becker, this was meant as a somewhat serious project, as he has a list of failing movies. Only watch this film for the laughs, it wasn't meant to be taken seriously I hope.
acts2120 Yes, I gave this a 10, which is deserves...if you can stand to sit through the first hour of it and wait for the castle storming sequence - which is so abysmally, horrendously horrible it is HYSTERICALLY FUNNY!!! At first, it was so bad I wanted to cut out my heart with a spoon, (because it would hurt more, you twit!), The harpies are about as scary as I am when I wake up in the morning (admittedly that can be pretty bad some days, but...) and the dialog is asinine. Balwin is ridiculous (big shock there), but I was eventually rewarded for my masochism about 45 minutes into the SCI-FI broadcast with the "Storming the Castle Sequence".This sequence is so funny it had me and my husband howling with laughter. My favorite is building the trebuchet overnight - out of plywood, which they make no effort to disguise - and then watching this plywood contraption BOUNCE upon launch. The music varies during this sequence from actually being good to being a ludicrous heart beat in the background.Then there's the bit where Baldwin's character hides the all-powerful amulet in his mouth...Turn this torture of a movie on half an hour after it begins airing; distract yourself for a few minutes, and keep an open mind - and watch for the really, REALLY bad humor. It's not fun/funny like "Army of Darkness," but more along the lines of a "post Joel and the Bots (Mystery Science Theatre 3000) do-over - if you can subject yourself to the first hour!!
doom-of-our-time If you loved Army of Darkness then without a doubt you will hate the hell out of Harpies. I promise. From start to finish harpies grabs at almost every theme from Army of Darkness except for undead. Now i know what you're saying, how can this be an Evil Dead knock off without, you know, Evil Dead Things. Well its a simple really. There's a brash womanizer that fools with an artifact in present time and falls through time to a some horrible middle age surreal vista that hurts my heart. Aside from the word "Tis" there is no attempt be authentic. Don't get me wrong I love crap but it throws me when they suddenly remember their acting and try poorly to remind me of it. They do think he's the chosen one, cause... um... well why not. Another snag from Amry of darkness is when Adam Baldwin suggests building a Trebuche. THat's probably spelled wrong but such is my disdain for all things French that i don't care. Also, i can't back up with any fact that that word is French. See, he says he seen it once on PBS and he must have paid such close attention that he had them build one, like on the spot. Sweet. Enough ragging on the fact that they didn't really so much have a movie plot as just time on their hands and some spare money. Let's get to the good stuff. Like how this movie called Harpies has relatively little screen time for said Harpies. I know the reason. I do. See when you have no Idea what the hell a Harpie is but you make a movie called Harpies the safest thing you can do is just ask Adam Baldwin to talk his way through a movie and stare at everything like he's stoned. That covers nicely the fact that you just put CGI bat wings on super models. Also, nerds love hot chicks with bat wings. I love hot chicks with bat wings. The noise the Harpies made.... oh...Oh... I'll let my buddy Pin Head Sum up the Harpy noise with a quote from his not crappy movie. "There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh"I didn't give this movie a one for several reason. 1, Coolio wasn't in it. 2, It appealed to my simple side, the side that loves girls with bat wings. 3, the notion of Alec Baldwin watching his brother's movie and laughing like a madman made me do the same. Also, the mixing up of a Succubus and a Harpy is pretty sweet. As a side not I also didn't give this movie a ten because Coolie wasn't in it.