As the beginning of an ongoing series, it's an utter bore, one with only the faintest grasp of what made Universal's monster pictures so iconic all those decades ago.
You only have to watch the trailer to know that Producer-Director Alex Kurtzman's reboot of Brendan Fraser's once-charming mummy movies is full of embalming fluid.
The Mummy promises a fantastical world of supernatural beings colliding and collaborating, forgetting that if no one cares about any one of these beings in particular, they're not going to be sold on seeing them together, either.
The Mummy is a mess, a movie in such a hurry to introduce more monsters under Universal's "Dark Universe" banner that it comes awkwardly wrapped in impenetrable layers of exposition.
I was curious enough about Universal's decision to exhume its classic monsters to hold on until the zombie crusader frogmen started swimming after amoral (but maybe-redeemable) soldier of fortune Tom Cruise. No one would blame you for checking out sooner.
It has been made with skill and hits its marks. But those marks are so low and so brazenly mercenary that it doesn't feel like much of an achievement. It's not involving.
The movie itself is rather like the Hollywood mummies of old: There it walks, lurching from side to side on rigid legs, deadly in its intent but uncertain of the right path, trailing bandages as it goes.
Kurtzman does a decent job with the film's tone, keeping it light and humorous, but the only thing at stake seems to be the future of the Dark Universe, which means more to Universal's bottom line than it does to modern audiences.
It's hard to tell if it's Cruise or the dragging weight of the movie, but he's almost totally devoid of the star power that makes the "Mission: Impossible" movies compulsively watchable.