Rijndri Load of rubbish!!

Noutions Good movie, but best of all time? Hardly . . .

Taraparain Tells a fascinating and unsettling true story, and does so well, without pretending to have all the answers.

Matylda Swan It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

MovieAddict2016 Every bad film that flops always has a title change, nine out of ten times, and such is the case with TWO IF BY SEA, a.k.a. STOLEN HEARTS. It's not an awful film by any means, semi-entertaining as a sweet, romantic crime romp -- but it's also nothing special, and certainly not worth renting when you can just wait for it to come on television.The underrated Denis Leary and overrated Sandra Bullock are two crooks-turned-lovers who are on the flee from their last job when they accidentally assume the identity of another couple in a local neighborhood.Yeah, it doesn't make any sense and defies logic. What were you expecting?2.5/5

Truls O. Bjoerhei With all due respect for Mr. Leary's capabilities as a comedian, this movie illustrates quite vividly that he is not an actor Hollywood has too much respect for. This movie is really, really stupid, and even Leary himself has admitted to being embarrassed about it. Bullock is on autopilot and all other characters are blatantly uninteresting. Only worth 3 points due to Leary's fishing-scene, that allows him to do what he is best at, comedy, and a rare performance by Yaphet Kotto. If you have no idea who Leary or Kotto is and thought "since Bullock is in it, it must be OK", you would be TERRIBLY wrong!!!

SquirePM Maybe there's a reason people who live in provinces are calledprovincial. Perhaps they expect a "Citizen Kane" or a "Godfather"every time they step into a theater. Great movies are few and farbetween, and about the best you can usually hope for is acoherent tale told in an entertaining way.And that "Two If By Sea" certainly is. I give it 9 out of 10 for itshilarity, subtle performances, niceness, great scenery, and overallexecution. It's a warm movie filled with lots of really zingy littlefunnies. It never strays far from its agreeable theme of true love,and when it does it takes delightful tangents into: pure slapstickgoofiness, devastatingly piercing pricking of the neuveau riche,adolescence, and even the plight of the city dweller who thinkshe's "out in the country" (as when a terrified Leary draws a .38 on atame deer). You have to admire a director who can take as manypotshots at life as "Airplane!" does, and still stay within the contextof a story as cohesive as this one is.Actually this is one of Denis Leary's finest hours. He portrays aguy who gets along in life by being tough and irascible, although atheart he's hard pressed to cope with the world in general andcompletely confused by love. Sure his character comes across asgrating -- it's supposed to. But if you can't see past the facade tothe nice guy underneath, you're not much of a moviegoer.To his excellent work the director adds Sandra Bullock's character,who is just enough not satisfied with a simple, linear life to throwLeary into one tailspin after another. Their chemistry is oftenprickly, but always centered around the movie's core theme. And ittakes real talent to portray her part with the touch of frustration shehas, without coming across as a bitch. Bullock impressed me byachieving just the right tone.And in the end, what more could you want? The good guys all findways to win and the bad guy loses his claim to fame and goesdown in flame, blame and shame. Whoooeee!

jack_94706 Bullock fans will be greatly disappointed, wonder why she accepted such a stupid part. Generally the presence of Yaphet Kotto in a film is enough to spark my interest; prior to seeing this film, Bullock had also begun to have that sort of status for me. She is excellent two or three films, but hasn't done much since "Speed" which really merits attention. My brother, who is in the film trade in Hollywood, told me Bullock had fired her manager or agent, after drawing lots of attention for a few successful roles. Apparently this agent was the one who selected roles for Bullock which best brought her charm to the screen. Maybe she felt too stereotyped as "America's Sweetheart" or the next "Audrey Hepburn" -- I don't know. But her business sense, her apparent lack of concern about being given poor roles or stupid and disgusting lines in them, especially in this movie -- have completely destroyed my interest in almost all recent films she's been in. Kotto provides the only light here, in my estimation, and a fine light, too -- but his role comes too late and his presence in too limited to save this junk bucket.