Never Too Young to Die

1986 "Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style."
4.8| 1h32m| NR| en| More Info
Released: 13 June 1986 Released
Producted By: Charter Entertainment
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Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
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Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless hermaphrodite gang leader Velvet Von Ragnar. The murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest.

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Director

Gil Bettman

Production Companies

Charter Entertainment

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Never Too Young to Die Audience Reviews

Colibel Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.
WillSushyMedia This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.
Loui Blair It's a feast for the eyes. But what really makes this dramedy work is the acting.
Josephina Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.
julian kennedy Never Too Young to Die is one of the most eighties films you will ever see. The film stars John Stamos who joins forces with his father's partner Vanity after daddy is killed trying to prevent a hermaphrodite, played by Gene Simmons, from poisoning the towns water supply.The Good: Vanity and Gene Simmons. Vanity is simply ethereal in this film. There doesn't seem to be a shot where she isn't effortlessly beautiful. She also shows decent action and acting chops. She is not Meryl Streep mind you but compared to say Denise Richards in The World Is Not Enough she is a cut above as the action heroes girlfriend.Gene Simmons is the other gem. Channeling both Tim Curry's Dr. Frank-N-Furter and The Joker. He takes what could have easily been an offensive and problematic bad guy and makes him/her so over the top offensive and problematic it becomes a delightful tour de force.The Bad: Well the rest of the movie. George Lazenby (That guy who keeps Timothy Dalton from being the world's worst Bond) is kinda just there and while John Stamos isn't awful by any means he can hardly hold his own against Vanity and Gene Simmons. (Yeah let that thought roll around in your head a minute.)Gene Simmon's minions look like they wandered off the Death Wish 3 set or perhaps a post-apocalyptic Full Moon Feature. They are entertaining enough but so out of place in the universe as is the army chasing them. Gil Bettman's direction is a simple point and shoot affair with some strange choices. He shoots a sex scene that clearly calls for an Emmanuel style soft focus linger in the same fast cut back and forth he shoots the action scenes.Overall: This is not a good movie. This, however, is an incredible eighties film. Vanity and Simmons simply elevate the already insane base material to a new level. It may not be defensible but it is sure entertaining.
hornykev Are ya feeling like breaking out? Looking for danger Feeling adventurous Then you must Put your trust Not in a strangerPlayin' your own game Do it your own way Keepin' your own sound That you found Goin' down Playin' like you playWho knows what you'll find You might like it, or not But all that you find, boy Is all that you got(Stargrove!) Flying like you've never flown (Stargrove!) Runnin' through a danger zone (Stargrove!) Are you gonna stand alone? Stargrove! Stargrove!You feel like takin' The world on your shoulders You're just a Robin Hood Makin' good Where you could You're one of the soldiersFaster than lightning Nothing can strike you You got the good stuff Tough enough Stayin' rough There's no one like youWho knows what you'll find You might like it, or not But all that you find, boy Is all that you got(Stargrove!) Flying like you've never flown (Stargrove!) Runnin' through a danger zone (Stargrove!) Are you gonna stand alone? Stargrove! Stargrove!This should have been released as a single. It should have been #1 on Billboard's charts for months! Absolute perfection.And Gene L. Simmons should have won the Oscar for best performance in '86. Absolute genius.I haven't seen this movie in over ten years but it still sticks in my mind. Gene sticking his middle finger on Vanity's chest and maniacally shouting out, "STARGROVE!!!!" The gay dance sequences. The unrequieted love of poor Cliff for his mondo studdly friend and hero, Lance. Gene's performance of "It takes a man like me to be a woman like me" (some of the lyrics of which were so good, incidentally, that Gene recycled and used in the song 'Spit' on the album 'Revenge') This whole movie rocks. I can't believe it is out of print, and I can't believe it isn't available in digital format yet. You can't go wrong with this movie.
teenagefsufan this was the worst movie i have ever saw gene simmonds was crummy in this god awful movie that looks like troma has done. speaking of troma there the best movie company ever..............FOR ME TO POOP ON there movies are crummy too gene simmonds sometimes doesn't do good movies that often except for detroit rock city that was good but this movie that gene made was stupid and down right damn stupid but the best part of all is when the movie was all over
Bjorn Skurj This movie is so horrifying, stultifyingly bad that it's total lack of anything that could remotely be termed "quality filmmaking" deserves some sort of Nobel Prize. (After which anyone involved in this project, down to the caterers, should be bundled up and sent to The Hague to stand trial for crimes against humanity.) It's one of those very rare projects that leaves your jaw dropped in sheer aghastness from beginning to end. They say "Plan 9 From Outer Space" was the worst movie ever made. No. I've seen "Plan 9" and this makes it look like "2001: A Space Odyssey."