Pocket Ninjas

1997 "The Fiercest Fighting Force Under Four Feet!"
1.4| 1h20m| NA| en| More Info
Released: 25 March 1997 Released
Producted By: Cine Excel Entertainment
Country:
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Info

Somewhere in New Jersey, a group of masked rollerblading children "save the universe" by training to fight the evil Cobra Khan through a series of action-packed montages. Along the way they hypothesize some slapstick hijinks in a balloon factory, and save the day through a hypothetical Sonic Virtual Reality battle. A real treat!

Genre

Action, Comedy, Family

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Director

Dave Eddy

Production Companies

Cine Excel Entertainment

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Pocket Ninjas Audience Reviews

SpuffyWeb Sadly Over-hyped
FeistyUpper If you don't like this, we can't be friends.
Kien Navarro Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.
Kamila Bell This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.
ironhorse_iv This is without doubt one of the worst film ever made, this film makes every other bad films looks good. I am amazed by how bad this film is. I really doubt this movie made any money in any return. I feel bad for who-ever produce this film. I was morbidly curious, so I watched it first. That was a major lapse of judgment. Its looks like a rip-off of Three Ninjas and Power Rangers. Anyways, first off, what is with the title? Pocket Ninja? What is that? Sounds like a pervert name where a guy who'd ask kids to put their hand into his pocket and they'd end up grabbing his privates. Stupid title. Pocket Ninjas was originally entitled Skate Dragons. The film was intended to be a children's version of 1991's The Roller Blade Seven that would showcase director Donald G. Jacksons' "Roller Cam" cinematography and "Zen Film-making" style. "Zen Film Making" is the philosophy of film making that says you don't need a script to your movie, you just film a bunch of random scenes and call it a movie. Pointless scenes such as a balloon factory fight, a guy riding on top of a stolen car. It has nothing to do with the main story. A stupid parade and last a supersonic virtual reality game with annoying sounds and music to make your ears bleed. However, Jackson was replaced when executive producers felt the "Zen Film-making" style was not working. Eddy was brought in to create a wrap around for the Jackson and the producer's extra footage. It was a mess. The film starts with clowns, no really, three kids that looks like Ninja ass clowns with their masks on trying to fight crime. They are Steve (Brad Bufanda) whom girlfriend Amy complaining about him near the end was out of the blue. It really paid off by only showing the top of her head. The next one is Damien (Joseph Valencia) whom special ninja power is that he can play a Gameboy with no cartridge. Last is Tanya (Sondi) who kicks in the endless amounts of training montages are just bad to watch. ¾ of the film is just training montages. The whole point of the training montages in movies is to pump us up for the big final fight scene. In order for us to be pumped up, they have to be pumped up. They have to looks motivated and dedicated in those cut scenes not sleepy. Their skills also don't improve from one training scene to the next - they're always bad. If I have kids, they're not getting Karate lessons, because I've seen enough kids training in this movie than I'd want to in my life or next! Their leader is the White Dragon (Gary Daniels). No surprised there. I wonder what Black Dragon thinks about this. Painful acting on display by Gary Daniels and from everybody. No worries, Gary Daniel's character disappears half way in the film and never returns. It's never explain. The worst acting is Cubby Khan (Rick Rabago) the kid leader of the street gang called the Stoners, or Stringers. They change their name throughout the film. He reads his line with no delivery. His father Cobra Khan (Robert Z'Dar) while not playing patty cake and doing a Tarzan impression is working with an evil pollution company man to pour toxic waste or something. The plot never get fresh out, as even a sub-plot romantic between White Dragon and Damien's mother is cut. The writing is so bad, it felt like it's in a different language. Like, Canadian or something. I think that some up the sheer stupidity of the movie. I really do. This movie is in fact a definition of real low-brow stupidity brought to screen. Pocket Ninjas was so bad, it was produce in 1994, but wasn't release on VCR until 1997. It seems like the fight never ends. Just like the movie
Dylan Greenberg Since everyone seems to be putting this movie down, I'm going to say some GOOD things about it first.1- There's Gary Daniels. He's a pretty cool action star, and it was strange seeing him in this movie, as he starred in a theatrical release before and after this straight to video movie. Nevertheless, he's a good actor and a good martial artist.2- The cinematography. I don't care what you think, the cinematography was good. There were interesting angles, and the film stock genuinely looked nice.3- The lighting. This movie was supposed to look like a cheesy comic book, and I think many people miss that point. The whole thing uses extreme colors in it's lighting, with streaks of red over blue. The whole movie is lit like a 1960's Batman episode, which I like.4- It's supposed to be laughable. It's a freakin comedy, and obviously a lot of it is tongue-in-cheek. The directors were clearly having fun making this.Okay, now that I got that out of the way, here's the bad stuff: 1- The acting. Yes, the acting was not very good. Of course, this was a low budget movie featuring a large cast of child actors, so you shouldn't expect Oscar material anyway.2- The plot. The plot is all over the place, but at least they have a good reason. Donald G. Jackson was originally hired to film footage for a different kids movie, and then he was canned, and a new director was hired with a new script using the same actors to wrap around the old footage. If it weren't for the firing of Jackson, the plot would have been much easier to understand.3- Not enough Robert D'Zar. D'Zar must have quit in the middle of production, because he never actually shows up at the end, which is a real shame.4- The training scenes. There are too many that go on for too long.That about wraps it up. I say go watch this movie out of curiosity, but don't expect gold.
jDriftyx82 I've been on a "so-bad-it's-good" movie kick lately. And this is the worst. Within 2 minutes of the movie, I noticed the movie had the worst acting, the worst writing, and awful directing.The movie is about a few kids who can't act, who fight crime. And they suck at it.The cast and crew could not be less enthusiastic about the movie. There's a twist ending in the movie. And the actor could not care at all.A lot of people watch movies on the Bottom 100 looking to be entertained by the stupidity of the movie.You will not find that here.But, if you want to torture yourself with it. It's available free on YouTube
MartinHafer Aye, aye, aye....where to begin?! This horrible movie is just terrible in just about every way...no, wait...EVERY WAY. My only questions are who was insane enough to think this sort of film would sell AND why is this movie currently only ranked the fifth worst film on IMDb?! The film looks like someone with a few dollars (not that many, actually) thought that other martial arts films are bad because they are violent, have actors with actual martial arts skills and don't star talentless kids and teens. So, they went to their nearest karate studio and recruited all the white, yellow and a few green belt kids and asked them if they wanted to star in a movie! While I saw a lot of people with black belts on here, I just assume they bought them and did nothing to earn them, as my cat knows about as much about self-defense as these knuckleheads!! The plot, not that you'll ever care, is that an evil force (led by a cute 9 year-old) can only be countered by three talentless 'ninjas'. These good ninjas consist of three kids in karate who are given special masks that allow them to have really, really below-average and SLOW fighting skills!! If these kids are the world's only hope,...then we are so royally screwed! There is nothing...nothing positive I can say about this film. Horrible writing (if they even had I writers--I honestly think they just made it up as they went along, horrible action (I hate to even use the word 'action'--this implies something more than Tai Chi speed fighting), inept direction and annoying characters--this film rates a zero in all departments. Plus, the idea of watching a film consisting mostly of obnoxious teens with their annoying dialog is NOT anyone's idea of a good time!! The only value this film might have is to use to interrogate members of Al Qaeda, however Amnesty International would be all over the President's butt if they ever did anything that cruel and inhuman!!