Exoticalot
People are voting emotionally.
UnowPriceless
hyped garbage
Steineded
How sad is this?
Michael Ledo
The Jersey Shore is under attack by CG generated red-eyed albino "Moby Dick" sharks. This is a campy cleavage filled take off of "Jersey Shore" and shark attack movies. The production utilizes Troma style blood squirts and occasional body parts. The dialouge ranges from clever to sad and includes many bad shark attack lines such as: "You're not half the man I am."Spoofs include hunting sharks with Roman candles and M-80s. Typical shark movie criticisms include deep water sharks in shallow water and people seen standing in water in one scene are shown treading water from underneath. Cameo appearance by Joey Fatone, who I discovered is his real name and not a gag name (Fat one) although one can't help but think that in this film.Enjoyable Snooki spoof. I don't watch "Jersey Shore" and don't know of anyone who admits to it, but everyone knows Snooki. I am sure "Jersey Shore" fans will have more to howl about in this film.PARENTAL GUIDE: No f-bombs, sex, or nudity. Implied sex with couple in bed on morning after. Lame wet t-shirt contest with contestants wearing bikini tops under shirts...I mean where's the point? 4 stars for those who like bad campy films.
Wuchak
RELEASED TO TV in 2012 and directed by John Shepphird, "Jersey Shore Shark Attack" spoofs the Jersey Shore TV show and "Jaws"-inspired shark attack movies. The plot concerns several seemingly super sharks unleashed to attack Jersey beaches due to underwater drilling.Critics love to rag on this movie, but I guess they didn't get the memo that it's a parody. Not only is it entertaining as a spoof, but the writers add interesting and even heartwarming drama to the mix. Yet, it wouldn't have worked without the right cast and, in this regard, it delivers with a stalwart cast led by Jeremy Luke as The Complication (lol) and Melissa Molinaro as the striking-yet-superficial Nooki. Joseph Russo & Daniel Booko are on hand as TC's beach buds while Alex Mauriello & Audi Resendez appear as Nooki's besties. Tony Sirico plays TC's cop father and they have a quality story arc.I liked how the rival preppie guys (Grant Harvey & Dylan Vox) are depicted as more formidable than geeky. Nooki asks Bradford (Harvey) at one point: "Why are you guys so materialistic?" He replies, "Because we have all the materials" (lol).The movie scores high marks in the female department with Alex Mauriello as J-Moni & Laura Harrison as De'Angela standing out in "Whoa Mama!" fashion. There's also a surprisingly quality score that interestingly meshes "Terminator 2" (1991) with "Last of the Mohicans" (1992). Lastly, sure, the sharks are laughably cartoony and do unbelievable things, but that's all part of the charm of the satire. The bottom line is that the movie effectively entertains.THE MOVIE RUNS about 88 minutes and was shot in Redondo Beach & Venice Beach, CA, with establishing shots of Seaside Heights, New Jersey. WRITERS: Michael Ciminera & Richard Gnolfo. ADDITIONAL CAST: Paul Sorvino & William Atherton appear as Jersey shore VIPs who put money above lives.GRADE: B
GL84
After a rare species of shark are brought up from the depths due to the renovation undertaken at a small town on the New Jersey Shore, the colorful locals band together with each other to defeat the creatures after the authorities doubt their existence.This one is just so ridiculous and cheesy that it's worth the effort. So much good here comes by parodying the lifestyle portrayed exactly, from the spoofs of the characters from the show and its overall set-up, the mocking of the lifestyle and slang to finally the guest cameos that the utter joy gathered during those scenes provides plenty of laughs, chuckles and outrageous moments that are effective and truly funny. Beyond this, the film gets plenty to like here when it gets to the shark attacks as they're quite brutal and bloodier than expected so though it's still mostly the spreading-bloodstain-on-the-surface variety it does have some more fun stuff throughout with numerous limbs bitten off, dismembered appendages and ripped up bodies featured here which comes from some more big pluses from this one as the action is totally cheesy. That comes from the numerous encounters here, ranging from the typically shorter scenes as the group's encounter with the sharks in the caves, the brief attacks on the boating fisherman and the paddle-boat couple come off nicely while the big action scenes here are all that much more fun. There's a lot of fun to be had from their attacks on the crowded boardwalk and at the beach where there's plenty of fun throughout the scenes while the film's biggest fun-factor is the finale where the sharks attack a massive yacht, grabbing passengers off the ship and leading to a thrilling rescue before the fun of the massive shootout to stop the creatures. The sharks look cheesy and the story is cliché, but that counts more than anything else against the few small problems. While this is quite notable for trying to tie the legendary attack for historical legacy, the fact that it never actually occurred in that location is a minor stumbling block since it's an actual historical date that is rewritten into the film to account for their appearance at that point in time, yet this never really holds this down as it's not important to know this to affect the film. Far more damaging is the sharks themselves, which look cheesy through utterly terrible and atrocious CGI that never looks realistic and the fish-eye-view shots are distracting with the karma symbol flashing up on-screen every time. This is the real problematic area of the film.Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and Nudity.
Kitten Pryde
I'm surprised at its negative review, for I haven't seen such a serious movie. My heart stopped when I thought that it was over. Luckily, no such thing happened. I'm unsure if there's a sequel, if there isn't I'm surprised. I'd recommend this movie to any friend. It's so draw-dropping phenomenal that I want to watch it again. 10/10, don't not watch this movie. I watched this on TV this afternoon, and I just couldn't get off the couch. Now I find myself inquiring if I should kick- start a sequel. I hope that one day they realize the potential of this series, perhaps a trilogy. An unforgettable trilogy. It's full of suspense and awe, I can't believe I just found it.
