The 12 Disasters of Christmas

2012
3.7| 1h26m| R| en| More Info
Released: 08 December 2012 Released
Producted By: CineTel Films
Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
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Just in time for the joyous holiday season, this film connects the ancient Mayan prophecy of worldwide destruction at the end of 2012, and the iconic holiday song, The 12 Days of Christmas. But there is hope: a father learns that his daughter is really the "Chosen One" who, alone, can stop further catastrophe - if he can stave off the lunatic townspeople blaming her for the community's destruction.

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Director

Steven R. Monroe

Production Companies

CineTel Films

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The 12 Disasters of Christmas Audience Reviews

EarDelightBase Waste of Money.
Exoticalot People are voting emotionally.
WiseRatFlames An unexpected masterpiece
Aiden Melton The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.
hongkong666 The 12 Disasters Of Christmas is a weird movie. It is weird, because everything in it seems to be bad. The acting, the dialogues, the plot, the writing and not to forget the incredibly bad CGI (one of the worst I have ever seen). In a small town, young Jacey (Magda Apanowicz) has her birthday. And this event triggers the reappearance of 12 plagues the Mayans have encountered 1000s of years ago. But do not worry, her grandma knows she is "the chosen one" and passes an old ring on to her to stop the end of the world. There are 4 more rings to be found to stop armageddon and that gives us one and a half hours of whatever this movie is trying to be. I don't want to go into details that much, but I have to point out the CGI effects on the electric wires. I laughed so hard seeing how poorly this was executed, that the rest of the movie just left me with a smile. And not even a sour one! I even found myself enjoying it. Usually your first reaction would be, well, it was like that in the 80s sometimes. And then you notice the movie is from 2012. Nevermind then... This movie is a great opportunity for you, to show it to people who even complain about top notch CGI today. After they saw this here, they might appreciate it a lot more!
TheLittleSongbird I actually aim to be encouraging to be encouraging towards films with my comments, summaries and ratings, but only ones that really deserve it. The 12 Disasters of Christmas doesn't deserve it for me, it is one of those movies where a movie title is spot on in summing up the quality of the film. The 12 Disasters are not of Christmas or the disasters depicted in the movie to me, more like the 12 main disasters that contribute to the overall disaster that is this movie. List of disasters in regard to this regard(in no particular order): Disaster #1- In regard to the special effects I wasn't expecting great ones considering the term low-budget. I did want to see some kind of effort, which is not what I got with The 12 Disasters of Christmas. These ones look really cheap and perhaps even unfinished, again not unexpected, but seriously these are among the worst I've seen in a while.Disaster #2- The editing is very choppy. It does little to make the scenery and such interesting or striking to look at. But it also manages to actually make the effects even cheaper than they already are.Disaster #3- All of the acting is poor. Everybody seems really bland, the very worst could be described as non-existent, and never once is there a sense of genuine peril or terror.Disaster #4- A complete lack of atmosphere. Any scenes that mean to indicate any signs of suspense or a sense of genuine horror at the perilous predicaments fail completely.Disaster #5- Which leads directly onto the story. Pacing-wise you know a film is dull when nothing compelling of the kind happens. To further disadvantage things, there is also nothing that comes across as a surprise, it is riddled with predictability that you know exactly what is going to happen throughout. It also suffers from taking itself far too seriously.Disaster #6- There is some really awful writing in The 12 Disasters of Christmas. The whole dialogue throughout the entire movie is awkward and cheesy, and made even worse by the uninvolved line delivery of the actors. There are also far too many biblical references and names that are both poorly placed and very poorly researched.Disaster #7- If you are looking for any likable characters, don't look for them here. And let's forget for a moment that the characters and many of the situations are clumsy and overused stereotypes. These characters are either obnoxious or non-descript and are nowhere near developed enough. Consequently I didn't care for them or their situation at all.Disaster #8- Coming from somebody who has started a degree in music(vocal studies to be exact), I always do look for good music. And was the music good here? Not to me it wasn't. It wasn't the case for me of it being badly composed, it just came across as generic with a sluggish tempo, making the movie even duller for my tastes.Disaster #9- With low-budget disaster movies and if you have seen enough, you are probably accustomed to some questionable science and geography. But you will be in for a shock at how many of these errors there are in The 12 Disasters of Christmas and how pushed to the limit of stupidity they are brought to.Disaster #10- Likewise with the music, this movie has some lame sound effects as well. More often they are overbearing and bizarre even, but what is even more frustrating is that the suspense is partly ruined by the sound effects literally sounding out whether something bad or out of the ordinary is going to happen.Disaster #11- The directing feels very flat here, breathing no life or energy to the proceedings. There is no sense of individual style or feel of the disaster movie genre as well.Disaster #12- Bad pacing, it's all very leaden and lifeless, so everything underwhelms whereas it should thrill or shock.So in conclusion, disastrous. If you do decide to see this movie, do make sure that you do watch it before Christmas(despite the title), otherwise you'll find yourself a Scrooge overnight. 0/10 Bethany Cox
Michael_Elliott The 12 Disasters of Christmas (2012) * 1/2 (out of 4) Really stupid movie has a girl (Magda Apanowicz) learning that she's the "chosen one" and must collect five rings to prevent the Mayan prediction of the world coming to an end from happening. Along with her father (Ed Quinn) the two try and capture the rings while avoiding earthquakes, tornadoes, ice spears and other disasters. THE 12 DISASTERS OF Christmas should have been so much fun but instead it's just one long, boring mess of a film that takes itself way too serious. Add in the totally unbelievable special effects and you've got another worthless movie that people turn into SyFy for each Saturday. I actually thought this one here had a pretty interesting story but it soon struck me that the "end of the world" wasn't really the "end of the world" because all of the events were just taking place in this one small hick town. It's also pretty hard to be scared of anything you're watching when the special effects are so poor that you can't help but roll your eyes. This is especially true during the scenes where people are freezing and the ice spears really aren't any better. The performances are about average for this type of picture but you really can't blame them too much considering the screenplay. THE LORD OF THE RINGS is another obvious "inspiration" but director Steven R. Monroe (I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE) just can't bring any life to the material.
kat_astrophi Please do not consider wasting two whole hours of your life on this turd, possibly hoping (as I did) that it will fall into that 'so bad it's good' territory. This movie was so awful it skipped that category altogether and went straight into the land of 'forgettable and generic'. I'll try and go through methodically rather than just wax annoyed about this Syfy dud: PLOT/STORY- The film is a doomsday sci-fi story set in a small Northern town and based on the premise that the Mayans predicted the end times and then warned us using coded messages in the song "The 12 Days of Christmas." Yes, really, the one with the French hens. The writers waste no time in flinging far-fetched and mostly unexplained disasters at the characters, from hilariously fatal icicles to hurricanes to the dreaded Jello Sky only previously seen in Ghostbusters II. The characters are incredibly cartoonish (soulless corporate goons, rebellious teen girls, religious fruitcakes, the gang's all here!) and the writing is so weak in parts it is embarrassing to watch actual grown-ups act out clunky dialogue and a confusing narrative a fourth grader may as well have written. Which brings me to my next point.ACTING- The film hangs its hat primarily on Jacey, a young girl with special powers, and her father, as they go through tired heroics trying to decipher a book of Mayan cartoons, save the world, and repair their strained relationship, natch. The actors here do little more than act as cardboard stand-ins for characters so flat and incomplete even THEY don't seem to believe them. I wasn't convinced that any of the people were in even the slightest bit of peril (and trust me, peril comes at every character from all sides) other than perhaps the dog, which had the good sense to leave early on before things got so bad that I had second-hand embarrassment for anyone who appeared on screen. Without spoiling anything, suffice to say that the best bits of acting (and I use that term loosely) are generally the people who display expressions of actual horror- as opposed to boredom- before they are dispatched of violently by the doom du jour.MUSIC AND SOUND FX- Nothing special to see here; the film carries your typical Asylum-quality generic music tracks to try and amp up whatever terror or concern we're intended to feel, although I must say that occasionally you get a satisfying crunch or rip whenever a hapless townsperson is brutally killed because the Mayans got their panties in a bunch and we didn't pay enough attention to a Christmas song....In closing, yeah, it was just that bad. Also, here's a parting thought: we're meant to buy that Jacey and her family are descended from Mayan prophets, and their pale-Caucasian-small-Northern-town-ishness is hand waved by the resident Smart Theory Guy by simply saying that thousands of years of intermarrying with Europeans has made them not remotely Hispanic. Seeing as how there are still Maya peoples (an ethnic group) alive today in Mexico and Central America, isn't this kind of racist or at best, wildly ignorant? I kind of hope so because it gives me one more thing I can complain about with this movie. After giving my two hours I feel I've earned as much. Don't make the same mistake I did, folks.