The Mother

2004 "It can take a lifetime to feel alive."
6.7| 1h52m| R| en| More Info
Released: 18 June 2004 Released
Producted By: BBC Film
Country: United Kingdom
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website: http://www.sonyclassics.com/themother/
Info

A grandmother has a passionate affair with a man half her age, who is also sleeping with her daughter.

Genre

Drama, Romance

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The Mother (2004) is currently not available on any services.

Director

Roger Michell

Production Companies

BBC Film

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The Mother Audience Reviews

Ehirerapp Waste of time
Matialth Good concept, poorly executed.
Hayden Kane There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes
Fatma Suarez The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful
Poseidon-3 In what has to rank as one of the mainstream cinema's most daunting pieces of subject matter, this BBC produced film explores the sexual relationship between a 60-something woman and a handyman 30 years her junior. Reid plays a grandmother (pushing 70!) whose feeble husband has managed to keep her tied to him and mostly subservient to him throughout their marriage (mostly due to the times, more than from a deliberate cruelty on his part.) While visiting their upwardly mobile and emotionally distant son in London (and also their daughter, who lives in the same vicinity), the husband (Vaughn) dies abruptly. Faced with a life of sitting in a chair watching the telly, Reid decides to return to London and reconnect with her children and grandchildren, who barely know her. Her extraordinarily neurotic and selfish daughter (Bradshaw) is carrying on an affair with the same handyman (Craig) who is building a conservatory onto the son's townhouse and asks Reid for advice about how to handle him. As Reid begins to strike up an acquaintance with Craig, she begins to find him appealing to herself and starts to unlock a lot of pent up feelings regarding her long lost sexuality and feelings of intimacy. Craig, who appreciates Reid's kind manner and thoughtful intellect, becomes drawn to her as well, causing plenty of drama and turmoil in an already unstable family. What could have been the world's most tawdry and tasteless film is saved by the deeply committed performance of Reid in the title role. She is given plenty of time to paint her character before the more sensationalistic scenes take place. It's a bit of a commentary on society that there's any discomfort at all in seeing a woman in her late 60's go to bed with a man far younger when when do the same thing quite frequently, but the disparity exists nonetheless. The scenes here are handled about as well as they could be in presenting the passion and sexuality of the situation without becoming too explicit. Craig does a very nice job here as well (displaying a much skinnier and less tantalizing body that he would later present in "Casino Royale"), but his character does seem to pendulum a lot with little or no explanation. He and Reid establish a nice chemistry between them in the scenes prior to their sexual liaisons. Other performances are strong, if not always appealing. Davies appears as a suitor more close to Reid's age and is alternately pleasant and repellent. The pace of the film is sure to test the patience of some viewers as it takes its time to build the story and includes a lot of quiet, dreamy scenes. London has rarely been presented this sunnily (the director also did "Notting Hill") which makes for a nice contrast to the sometimes downbeat goings-on. The film was shot using only natural or ambient light which may be why the director shot during so many sunny periods versus the stereotypical cloudy ones. It's a challenging work, but not without rewards. Just as in 1955's "All That Heaven Allows", a widow with two snotty children, who long for her to stay at home with the TV, creates a stir when she begins seeing a younger laborer with whom she's established an emotional connection. Now, of course, it's been ratcheted up with sexuality and the angle of the man being the daughter's lover as well, but the story thrust is pretty much the same.
saberlee44 May and her husband go to visit their children and grandchildren. The visit is awkward because the grandchildren and "kids" don't really seem to know each other as one might expect. The warmth that should be there is missing. After dinner, May's husband says he doesn't feel well, blames it on his daughter's cooking, and irritably says he wants to go home. He dies that night.May, now a widow, is lost. She clearly did not have a passionate marriage or a very interesting one, but she had a purpose. She had someone who needed her, and even though her own needs had gone unmet for years, she had something to do with her days.She is depressed and unmotivated. She goes to stay with her daughter, Paula, who shortly after her mother's arrival, lets her mother know that she has never felt that her mother has given much of herself at all. She lets loose with anger over her mother's lack of nurturing. May seems disarmed and surprised, yet she also doesn't seem to have the energy or the desire to really make it right. "I'm your mother and I love you." What does really say? (I've heard this from my own mother way too many times and have yet to figure out what it means.) Paula is a bit (well, more than a bit) neurotic. Both women are needy, though they show it very differently.Paula has been involved with a friend of her son's, Darren, who is a handyman working on the house owned by her son. While Paula is working during the day, May begins to have conversations and lunches with Darren. Darren is a married man who has stayed with his wife because of their autistic son, Nicky, but supposedly doesn't live in the home with his wife.May becomes attracted to Darren because he is virile and she enjoys the connection they seem to have. Darren becomes attracted to May because she offers a kind of peace and understanding that he does not get from the other women in his life. (He also becomes too interested in money that May says she can give him to "get away from it all," though he is clearly not interested in her desire to join him on such a journey. They end up sleeping together in the spare room during the day, and May enjoys fulfillment as a woman that she has not known in years, nor had ever expected to know again. As her daughter Paula had often told her that she would leave the married Darren, this becomes part of May's rationalization that what she is doing is okay.At a writing group that Paula leads, May is introduced, rather forced to get together with a widower to whom she is not attracted. There is one scene where she has sex with the older man, who clearly can barely perform, and it truly painful and unsettling as we see the total disgust on May's face as she endures the one-time ghastly liaison.Eventually, Paula discovers through some very graphic sketches done by her mother, that indeed her mother and Darren have been having sex.This film will undoubtedly be seen by many in myriad ways. Sympathies will be divided. At one point, during Paula's writing group, May reveals through a short essay that she used to feel as though she hated her kids by the end of the day, and would leave for pubs after they were asleep, making sure to get back home before her husband.Clearly, a good mother does not think of leaving children alone while she goes off to the local pub. May, however, also had revealed earlier in the film that her husband didn't like her having any friends, so she didn't have any. She did what he wanted her to do. She was miserable but she put up with it because, as she said, "it was easier." So, while May was not the best mother, for those inclined to have any sympathy for her, one might see May's actions as the act of a woman just wanting to be sexual and to be a live for "a few minutes" in her lifetime. A woman who just wanted someone to listen to her, to know her as a human being, to have a friend and a lover.Paula, though neurotic and unhappy, perhaps has become that way because of the distant parents who raised her. Certainly, it is not difficult to understand why Paula feels completely betrayed by her mother.It is a well-done film, with more complexities than I have mentioned, and certainly one that will leave the viewer with many, perhaps conflicting, reactions. It is a film worth discussing and debating, and above all, worth seeing.One thing the film leaves us with is the horror and fear of a lonely life. No matter who is deemed "right" or who is deemed 'wrong" by each viewer, that theme of old age and loneliness, evoking a sense of dread in most of us, is inescapable.
Claudio Carvalho "The Mother" is a weird low-budget movie, touching at least two uncomfortable themes not usually explored in the cinema: denial of love of mother for their own son and daughter, and lust and passion in the third age.The characters are awful: May is a disgusting old lady and I believe it is impossible to feel any kind of sympathy or sorrow for her. She confesses that she did not love her son and her daughter. She cheated her husband twice with an intellectual. She steals the beloved man of her daughter, not to protect her from a guy without moral, that does not love her, but just because she feel horny with him. She is trying to organize her life after the loss of her husband in the worst possible way, destroying her daughter delusions. Paula, her daughter, is a fragile loser, who accepts her life the way it is. Her brother Bobby is a man who lost his savings because of his wife, who insists in having her shop, a terrible business indeed. Darren is an amoral addicted jerk who does not like anybody, even himself.The acting and direction are excellent: the actresses and actors have outstanding performances and the direction is very precise. I liked this movie, but I recognize that it is recommended for very specific audiences. My vote is seven.Title (Brazil): "Recomeçar" ("Re-Start")
dedoc1967 I tuned in to this movie with the hope of discovering some overlooked gem, a character-study dealing with family relations and dealing with an under-represented subject matter: romance and sexuality among older individuals. Instead, unfortunately, I was left feeling as if I'd just watched a remake of "A Doll's House" written by Darren Star. The performances are strong, but the pacing is excruciatingly slow and the characters are thoroughly unappealing -- mainly selfish, self-absorbed, petty and bitter. The plot concerns a mature (age-wise, anyway), recent widow who falls in love with her neurotic daughter's sleazy, married boyfriend. The widow, feeling she's lead an "unlived" life, is rejuvenated by her much younger lover while the daughter, who feels mum never encouraged her as a child, struggles with the same man who's reluctant to leave his wife. It all comes out, of course, and daughter reacts violently (a disturbing scene) and tosses mum out. Now, I suppose there's intended symbolism with the lover being a handyman renovating the son's house -- but it seems off that it would be the son's house and neither the sister/daughter's or mum's. Anyway, a true clock-ticker and, as with Ibsen, we end with mum leaving her home for good.