Plantiana
Yawn. Poorly Filmed Snooze Fest.
Chirphymium
It's entirely possible that sending the audience out feeling lousy was intentional
Kayden
This is a dark and sometimes deeply uncomfortable drama
Matt Kracht
...you wouldn't get this, because those two movies were actually good. However, if you also added Plan 9 or something of that quality, you'd get The Witches Hammer. Basically, it's an extremely low budget (around the quality of a good YouTube video) action comedy with vampires, so if you're looking for horror or good special effects, you won't find it here. There's a lot of filler between the action sequences, and the plot is rather thin, but it's still watchable. Some of the scenes worked rather well, I thought, even if the movie as a whole didn't. Hopefully, the director will have more money to work with, next time. It's obvious that there were some issues in that department.
illegal_alien51
How anyone can give this anything over a 1 without invoking the power of the almighty "unintentional laugh" is beyond my understanding.Acting and character script: absolutely cringeworthy. Everything is stale, unemotional and wrong. "Oh I just died and can neither be with my husband nor child any more! What's more is that some strange people who are experimenting with me want me to be their new super duper killer! ...But... that's totally okay, because I'm a Vampire now *moronic smile*."Oscar is a master acrobat and a trained fighter" the guys says, apparently someone really to be fearful off. Yet he stops him by putting a fork through his hand, ramming it into the table. WHAT??Theme inconsistencies - A story is told of how the Witches Hammer came to being, somewhere before 1100AD, the movie of that story is in colour. Yet when another story is told about something that happened in the 1800s we get it in black and white and with silent film talk boxes. WHY? In the Witches Hammer story the people were dressed in 17th century, maybe 18th century clothing even though it's supposed to be around 1000AD, at the latest.Why do we need to know the French pronunciation of the word cardinal if it both sounds pretty much the same as the English pronunciation, and if that knowledge does absolutely nothing to further the story? WHY?And what's up with him being that absolutely incredibly strong and evil foe and when you get to meet him he's this whimpering little lump of ridiculous? If you're building up suspense and tension leading up to meeting a super villain, why then suddenly make a 180 degree turn and turn him into a soggy lump of nothing? Okay, not everybody can do super fight scenes - BUT IF YOU DON'T, THEN DON'T TRY! Why is the dead fat lady laughing while she's taking revenge on her father for poisoning her? Wouldn't she rather be full of rage, or sad or disappointed? No she butchers him with a happy smile. Why in all the world would she go out on a revenge spree if she's in such a good mood? That's it, I could go on for hours but what for? What remains is that I have another name of a director to stay away from. Sad that learning that name had to be such a painful experience.
dragonlordals
B movies are supposed to be a thing of the past. Cheap graphics, half-formed stories, and bad acting was supposed to have stopped around the same time as black and white. Not so with this movie. It's got everything you expect from a B movie, and much much more.However, as B movies go, it's actually a fairly decent flick. The actors are clearly taking themselves very seriously, and the fact that they can do so is almost humorous. If you're into B movies like I am, this is actually one worth seeing just for kicks. If not, let me explain why the movie is horrible by modern standards:The fight scenes are preformed in the rigid choreography associated with such films, and the fact that no more than two moves are ever seen together in the same shot leads one to believe that they never actually fought, but instead filmed move-by-move, and then ineptly mashed together.The storyline is clunky at best. It's fairly clear that the author never actually planned out the story, but instead put a bunch of ideas that he/she thought was awesome into a semi- understandable order, and ran with it. The odd stale joke is thrown in for good measure, though I have to admit that I found myself legitimately chuckling at some lines. If you've seen Black Sheep, it's sorta like that, but unintentional.I'm not going to comment on the graphics. It's a B movie. You can probably guess for yourself.Overall, I'm gonna give this a 5/10. It deserves less, but the ridiculousness of the movie is almost a bonus in a strange way.
David Birch
I, like many horror fans, have been force fed the same banal big budget Hollywood remakes and MTV high school slasher tripe for the last 20 years. Here, at last, is an original horror genre movie that ticks all the right boxes.You want a hot lead actress, you want vampires, you want cool weapons, you want cool vehicles and you want blood, lots of it, by the bucket load - you got it.With excellent fight choreography and a supporting role from the Hammer Horror scream queen herself Stephanie Beacham, this really is fantastic stuff.Despite it's low budget, by opting to use 35 mm stock and adding quality CG effects to the mix, director James Eaves has created something that feels much bigger.A must for old school horror fans.
