Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls

2008
2.3| 1h38m| R| en| More Info
Released: 29 April 2008 Released
Producted By: The Asylum
Country: United States of America
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Info

Filmed on location in South Africa, a retelling of H. Rider Haggard's classic novel "King Solomon's Mines," featuring the adventurer who was the inspiration for Indiana Jones.

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Director

Mark Atkins

Production Companies

The Asylum

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Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls Audience Reviews

Kidskycom It's funny watching the elements come together in this complicated scam. On one hand, the set-up isn't quite as complex as it seems, but there's an easy sense of fun in every exchange.
Luecarou What begins as a feel-good-human-interest story turns into a mystery, then a tragedy, and ultimately an outrage.
Catangro After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.
Roxie The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;
cayotica Oddly enough for an hour and 38 minutes of nothing the movie went by fairly fast as I waited breathlessly for the next thing to not happen. Senseless murders, a great white hunter that can't shoot straight and a safari without rifles, porters, tents or supplies. However, I guess that is all you can expect when you move king Solomon's Mines into the mid 1960s and it looks like you didn't have the slightest idea of how to make a movie. The Allan Quartermain in this movie is a joke and an insult to all lovers of the Allan Quatermain stories. Dialogue is lacking and weak, special effects none and the only interesting thing was about two worth minutes of National Geographic style footage which in itself made no sense either. With no beginning, a middle section of bad acting with a confusing storyline and one of the poorest endings ever, I don't recommend anyone wasting time watching this. I was going to rate this flick a 3/10 but I don't believe it's even that good. Finally, and this might qualify as a spoiler but is it really a "Temple of Skulls" when there's only a 20 or so skulls in the temple to begin with?
patlightfoot I was looking forward to it. But - found it hard, very hard, to take it seriously, I thought it might be a black comedy or skit on that classic novel. Acting? Dismal, non existent script & continuity? If they were Zulus, they didn't act or appear to be real. The scenery was great but came from all parts of S.A. Why would Lady Anna, come dressed for a party, entering not only a shady bush drinking place, but in the S.A. bush. And Allan Q, behaved like a dumb, recovering alcoholic with little facial expressions or body language throughout. Just as well I got it for nothing from the local library. If this was an adaptation of the classic novel, the script writer should be buried up to his/her neck in an ant-hill. The final scene, them bowing and smiling. What was that all about, or maybe I fast forwarded the sequence when it could have been answered.
Graham McDonald That's right, ill, although I think I've overdosed on zinc tablets.The film was unreal, there was about 6 lines in the entire thing. The hero, who didn't do anything heroic, was called Alan. The bad guy was like a school caretaker. He was smiling like he had jaw's metal teeth, but he didn't. On the up side the female was attractive and the African tribes women had their t**s out. All I remember was the tiny cast all waking across a field on an overcast day, very, very slowly.It's no wonder they'd all given up, the treasure map looks like a 2 year old drew it.It felt like they'd all given up from the very start.If they'd have shouted BANG when they shot guns, that's would have been more convincing.The only explanation to the creation of this movie, was Alan trying to get his leg over with the lead lady in real life.Would I recommend this film? Well if you are an actor trying to get yourself into a frame of mind to play a deeply depressed and ill character, give it a go.Never judge a DVD by it's cover. We did, and paid the price.
mikemdp Picked this up in a five-buck Echo Bridge 6-movie pack at K-Mart that also had some TV versions of Robinson Crusoe and mummy movies. Never laughed so hard in my life. Highly recommended for connoisseurs of bad cinema.All those who give this movie a negative review should watch those abysmal big-budget studio Allan Quartermain movies in which Richard Chamberlain plays H. Rider Haggard's main character as a guy who wants to bed all of his male co-stars, in which Sharon Stone wears far too many clothes, and in which James Earl Jones plays an African tribal chieftain with such obvious embarrassment you can practically see the tears in his eyes and hear his thoughts saying, "Remember, Jim, this is paying for that vacation house in Old Saybrook, Conn."And really, all that money invested in "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" still didn't make it make a damn lick of sense, and made me feel like George Lucas screwed me. "Star Wars made me very rich and very fat. Thanks. Here, I dressed up some of my feces as Indiana Jones for you to look at for two hours."At least this one doesn't pretend to be anything other than crap, and on that level, it's a helluva lot more enjoyable than "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."Stuff you gotta love:-- The swarm of millions of somethings that are as big as birds, buzz like bees but looks like a pixellated screensaver, which causes the entire cast to cower under a rock but which poses no threat or danger whatsoever.-- The leading lady says she twisted her ankle and couldn't possibly walk on it, and in the very next scene is hiking up a mountain.-- The leading lady's makeup is heavier than that lady's in your town who drives the pink Mary Kay car. Honestly, she looks like she's auditioning for a role as a Tammy Faye drag queen.-- They reach the fabled King Solomon's Mines by walking in a general direction up a dirt road. And when they get there, they just stand around and do nothing.-- Earthquake! For no reason!-- Two white guys found captive in the African tribe who do absolutely nothing for the rest of the movie.-- Everything collapses! For no reason!-- The big fight between Allan Quartermain and the villain that looks like an improvised b-slap match between the Burger King and Abe Vigoda.-- Finally, there is no Temple of the Skulls. It's never sought. It's never reached. It's never mentioned.Folks, five bucks at K-Mart. Can't buy a Happy Meal for that.