VeteranLight
I don't have all the words right now but this film is a work of art.
Sameer Callahan
It really made me laugh, but for some moments I was tearing up because I could relate so much.
Guillelmina
The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.
Coventry
Admittedly the subject title of this user comments is somewhat misleading and overly dramatized, since you can hardly refer to "The Slumber Party Massacre" (of which this film is a belated fourth entry) as being a great or even remotely significant 80s horror/slasher franchise. The 1982 original and part 3 released in 1990 were reasonably entertaining flicks, but the first 1987 sequel is beyond retarded and the overall series is forgettable and mediocre at best. Still, the fact that producers of the new Millennium keep reviving long lost franchises like these clearly shows that everyone in the horror industry nostalgically craves back to the simplicity and lusciousness of the wondrous eighties' decade… In the hands of talented and ambitious directors this can lead to enjoyable and adequately made homage/throwback movies (like "The Final Girls", "The Sleeper" or "Bloody Homecoming"), but with someone like Jim Wynorski in the director's seat, it's bound to be a senseless and incompetent piece of garbage! Wynorski nevertheless made a couple of decent movies himself during the 80s, like "Chopping Mall" and "Not of this Earth", but since the mid-90s he devoted his career to unleashing approximately 5 – 7 inferior pieces of crap per year (!) and their only reason of existence is showing copious amounts of gratuitous nudity and soft-core. "Cheerleader Massacre" superficially looks like a mindlessly fun slasher with gory massacres and plenty of nudity provided by fresh and voluptuous B-movie starlets, at least based on the DVD-cover and the brief synopsis on the back, but in reality this film delivers … not much of anything. Some of the babes in the cast go topless or spend a long time in the shower, but the sexiest ones incomprehensibly remain dressed and run around the sets clueless and for no particular reason. Heck, they can't even properly get referred to as "cheerleaders" since they never wear their outfits or practice with pom-poms! Was that really too much to ask for, Wynorski?!? The gore and bloodshed is seriously disappointing as well. Apart from a headless corpse at the front door (realized with lousy special effects) and a weak electrocution (realized with even lousier special effects), this "massacre" is tame, boring and frustrating. What else is there to mention? The idiotic script, perhaps, that is full of dreadful clichés and predictable twists. A handful of bimbo cheerleaders, accompanied by their busty female coach and a couple of dim-witted stoner guys, head out for a tournament on the other side of a snowy and isolated mountain region. As a matter of course their van breaks down just before nightfall, so they have to seek shelter in an abandoned cabin where they indulge in booze, sex and dumb campfire stories. And yes, evidently, there's a maniacal killer at large in the area, but is he/she really responsible for the number of corpses that are piling up? Of course not! I don't even understand why the script assumes they can mislead us with this red herring, as the first murder is committed while the girls are still in school; dozens of miles away from the place where they spend the night. It's a common problem for stupid movies to assume that the audience is equally stupid, I guess. Brinke Stevens, starlet of the original 1982 "Slumber Party Massacre", is dragged into the movie, only so that her testimony and flashback archive footage can fill up an additional few minutes of running time. Unlike her, I personally prefer not to waste any further time on this dud… Avoid, that's all I can say!
pyromanticways
"Based on a joke once told by Jim Wynorski"... that's what I've read at the end of the closing credits. Well, Mr. Wynorski gotta have an awful sense of humour then! This film is terrible, really. I loved the first two chapters of The Slumber Party Massacre series; the third film was quite useless, but completely watchable, compared to this piece of crap! There's not even a Driller Killer and the plot, the acting, the characters, the locations, the events... everything is boring, absurd and laughable. The only good reason to watch this turkey are the girls: if this film were a porn, I think it would have worked really much better! The film lacks gore too: the first scene (the one in the tent) could be bloodier and the scene with the headless guy knocking at the door lasted one second! Some moments of slight thrilling can't save a nonexistent plot. Buzzy (Lunk Johnson) seems to be the only real actor here: I found him the only bearable character in this movie! Oh... there's a nonsense part with Brinke Stevens, who performed "Linda" in the first Slumber Party Massacre: the police bother her to know more details about the killer; but what we get is only some footage from the first film! Not a dialogue, neither a monologue, or anything from this still-traumatized grown-up girl, who's forced to revive the worst 30 minutes of her life (as she says), giving us no clues at all about the murderer!Watch at your own risk.
manicgecko
Hmmmmmmm - cheerleader massacre. Let me think - high school girls get sliced up, except the cute one survives. Got it. Next movie.I was actually surprised this one was made in 2003. I really thought they quit making these movies in the 80's. This was truly your run of the mill slasher movie with teenage eye candy, dumb male horn dogs, even dumber male adult, and hot teacher. It continues on the list of dark and stormy night and abandoned cabin in the woods. We have seen it all before.However this one had a few interesting plot twists that places it above the normal me-too slashers, so if you have got a few brain cells to fry and 2 hours to kill - you could do worse.
Archer2525Jonathan
Thanks to the cover this movie looks good, thanks to the direct it is actually complete rubbish. Slasher fans should stay the hell away from this one, There's no Plot, no talent and I am sorry to say that i've actually seen it. Thank God i rented it online and it only cost me about 50 pence, because if i'd spent any more i might have to go and slash my own wrists, from the sheer depression. I think the Director thought that a few Bimbos on the cover and the word Cheerleader might make a movie, by which rationale i could sell a turd in a box if I only cellotape a picture of Britney Spears on the front. Even for an amateur movie this stinks and forget soft porn, aside from a very short appearance from April Flowers there is nothing worth watching here. Wynorski...get a job.
