GrimPrecise I'll tell you why so serious

MoPoshy Absolutely brilliant

BallWubba Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

TrueHello Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

fordraff This was not a very good film, and, after seeing it and thinking about it, my opinion of it sank even further--to awful. It's supposed to be a comedy, but I didn't get one laugh.The plot is well detailed by gradyharp, another commentator here. The whole plot is utter hogwash. But I was put off by the film's making fun of the Indian traditions and rituals of engagement and marriage. (No, I am not Indian.) In playing them for laughs, it degraded them, and this wasn't funny.The gay story is ignored--yes, ignored--for most of the film. I didn't for a moment believe that Jimi and Jack were in love and a devoted couple because the film didn't have enough scenes to make that clear. Chris Bisson is miscast as Jimi Chopra. He looks much older than Peter Ash, who plays Jack. Sushil Chudasama, who plays Ravi, Jimi's brother, would have been better cast as Jimi. There is no chemistry between Bisson and Ash. Jack is ignored for most of the film, and this is insulting to his character. Jack emerges as a chump, willing to take whatever humiliation Jimi hands out. And Jack's willingness to meet Jimi's parents and extended family and to take a role in Jimi's marriage seemed unrealistic.But Jimi himself isn't very nice; he's cowardly, spineless, unwilling to confront the issues of coming out to his parents. I suppose one could say that if Jimi did so we'd have no movie, or we'd certainly have no comedy. But as presented here, I disliked Jimi for his spinelessness, even though he used the rationale of doing what he did to please his parents. But what Jimi was about to do in marrying Vanessa would have been harmful to many people in short order, even though Vanessa, Jack, and Hanah were all in on the deceptive marriage plot. That they were says nothing positive about their characters.Actually, the gay plot is so back-grounded, that the film might well work as a heterosexual story. Jimi could just as well have an English girlfriend, say, whom he wanted to marry but whom he knew his parents would disapprove of and will hatch a plot to deceive his parents but allow him to still live with his English girlfriend.In addition, I was put off by Vanessa, an overweight alcoholic woman who works tending bar in a pub and passes out most nights when she comes home from work. She also has a potty mouth. None of this makes for a humorous effect. Her precocious young daughter, Hanah, not only takes care of herself but also attends to her mother. Unfortunately, most of Hanah's dialogue is implausible, very adult, and proves only that Kazy Clayton can memorize sophisticated dialogue at a young age.A strip club scene here is unnecessary. Harish Patel, who plays Simran's father, is outrageously over the top in a Zero Mostel manner that I found both embarrassing and irritating. Definitely not recommended.

gradyharp For those expecting the cover art and story outline to indicate another entertaining Bollywood Indian production, beware: no musical dance numbers or songs of production value exist to brighten the mood in this rather tired story of arranged marriages in the British Indian culture - with a few variations thrown in. As written by Roopesh Parekh the script jumps around topics worthy of discussion only to cover them up with routine avoidance tactics. Harmage Singh Kalirai directs like a traffic cop, trying to hold together the disparate subplots to the point of Keystone Cop tactics.Jimi (Chris Bisson) is a medical school student who is gay and has a lover Jack (Peter Ash) and they live with Jack's obese, alcoholic, loose morals aunt Vanessa (Sally Bankes) and Sally's chubby daughter Hannah (Katy Clayton). Jimi's family is visited by the Patel family from Delhi who bring their beautiful daughter Simran (Jinder Mahal) to England to find a husband. Jimi's parents (Saeed Jaffrey and Jamila Massey) and his grandmother (Zohra Sehgal) decide Simran is the girl for Jimi to marry and arrange an engagement and wedding in the custom of Indian ways - without consulting Jimi. Jimi discovers the plot and is too spineless not to go along with it, a decision which enrages Jack and infuriates Vanessa. Hannah tells a 'little lie' to Simran (that she is Jimi's daughter) and the wedding is off. When Jimi's parents visit Jimi's house they discover the drunken Vanessa, are repulsed by her, but eventually decide that for Jimi's happiness they will go along with the fact that Vanessa has given them a 'granddaughter' and decide to use the marriage preparations as a wedding for Jimi and Vanessa. Jimi convinces the very reluctant Vanessa to go along with the idea and before long Vanessa is dressed in a sari, prepared for a wedding, and Jimi, terrified at what he is doing just to please his parents, includes Jack as his best man. At the wedding the truth comes out and to Jimi's surprise his family adapts to Jimi's true self and the day is saved by simply being truthful.The cast copes with this silly bit of nonsense rather well and there are some good performances: Chris Bisson and Peter Ash are attractive men and play their roles well, albeit without any indication at all of a loving relationship (the director seems terrified of showing the least suggestion of intimacy between the two men); Sally Bankes provides most of the laughs as Vanessa; the rest of the cast repeat the stereotype roles they've played countless times in Indian movies. This is not a bad film - it has its moments - but it is just too superficial and tired to make us care about any of the characters.

mikeymike111 As the film reviewer for a local gay magazine I automatically get sent any dreck if it happens to have a homo in it. Chicken Tikka Masala is churning on in the background as I write this. I gave it my undivided attention for 53 minutes before I found myself involuntarily shouting - like a Tourrette's sufferer -"This is the sh**test film I have ever seen". We're just coming to the emotional climax where the son is giving some coming out speech to his father at his wedding. Father seems to be taking it quite well. An attempted honour killing at this point would at least have livened the film up a bit. And made it funnier. I didn't particularly like Beautiful Thing, for example, but could at least see why other people did. It was made with some professionalism and I seem to remember it had at least a couple of good lines. The lack of wit in this film is quite astounding - even the most mediocre sitcom will tend to have recognisable jokes. The nearest this movie got to being funny (at least in its first 53 mins) was the subtitled comment delivered to the fat unattractive female lead "Look at her with her legs wide open - she's like the Mersey Tunnel." Completely witless and I didn't crack a smile but I could imagine someone with a low IQ (who perhaps works in a chip shop) enjoying it.I'd imagine it's some Lottery-funded atrocity. If not I can at least console myself with the fact that the backers will lose a substantial amount of money as even a low-budget British film will still set someone back a couple of million. Seriously, if I met the most handsome bloke in the world and, on going back to his place to make sweet love, I found a copy of this in his DVD collection ("Man, I love this film") I'd probably kick him in the nuts and leave forthwith. And this from someone who's gone about six months without any of the aforementioned sweet love. Oh Lord I hate this film.

joakey I am at a loss to find the words to express how bad I thought this film was. The initial precept was promising, but in all respects afterwards it was totally awful. Let's run through the main points. Plot - good initial idea but truly terrible development. There were many points when I thought "no, nobody would do something that stupid". The ending was amazingly anticlimactic. Characterisation - all of the characters were either completely bland or grotesque caricatures. I keep trying to think of one that wasn't - possibly the mother, but that's it. Music - intrusive, inappropriate and generally terrible. Direction - totally amateurish. Cinematography - doubt they've heard of it. Camera angles / stability / zoom levels often really bad. I am totally bemused at how this film has scored so highly. It's the worst movie I've seen at the cinema for years, if not ever.