Freaktana A Major Disappointment

Glucedee It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

Allison Davies The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Scarlet The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

HaemovoreRex That veritable deity of cinematic ineptitude Thomas Tang strikes again to bring us yet another cut and splice slice of joyously carefree crap revolving around some decidedly gormless ninja exploits.The incoherent and nonsensical plot concerns the criminal activities of the spiritual ninja of the films title (headed by a Swastika embossed headband wearing, bushy bearded chap!) and the CIA's subsequent attempts to bring them to justice. Enter Captain Scott, one of the CIA's 'Action Men' (yes I'm not making this up, the film actually refers to them as Action Men!) who also happens to be, and I quote, a 'Tame' ninja (!!!) - (Top marks to the script writer of this!) Added to this we have a completely non related Filipino film/plot involving the local law enforcements attempts to bring down a crime organisation (we're told it's the spiritual ninja again!), a feisty female cop who has a predilection for throwing spiked knuckledusters into peoples throats (!) and numerous scenes set in a cheap looking disco which didn't make any sense (along with the rest of the film!)Yes, you've probably got the picture here; it's a bit of a mess to put it mildly!Whilst it has to be said that sadly the film is admittedly one of the lesser efforts in the genre, I must confess that I'd happily sit through this and even the very worse of these films ten times over as opposed to much of the big budget crap that Hollywood churns out with such alarming frequency these days.As it happens, although the film drags badly throughout, the ending does provide some great amusement when our hero leads a squad of 'Action Men' to battle the spiritual ninja forces. Multiple scenes of agonisingly bad acting inevitably follow as our heroes come to the swift realisation that guns have seemingly no effect on these masters of death thus prompting a priceless moment of comically atrocious acting when two of our action men resolve to lob a grenade into the midst of the assassins! But alas! - Even this fails to kill them (after all only a ninja can kill a ninja!) and getting back to their feet they start cheering in haughty and defiant unison - until that is, Captain Scott abruptly silences them for good with his special ninja bombs!Finally our 'tame' ninja takes out the last few remaining spiritual ninja manually, before facing Swastika Ninja in a climatic showdown wherein he manages to eventually apprehend him to face trial (presumably). As I said previously, despite the enjoyably daft ending this film is far from the best of it's illustrious *cough!* ilk and does drag rather lamely throughout (the original Filipino film especially). Nonetheless for fellow bad movie lovers you will no doubt want to give this a whirl.

Xomby This is one of those faceless, anonymous ninja movies that probably only I've ever seen. A quarter of this is very thin people waterskiing and riding boats. Another quarter is thin people dancing around in a really lame Japanese disco. The rest of this movie is some really dumb ninja fighting, if you can call it that. If we are to believe this movie, ninjas attacked their enemies head on, shouting a huge battle cry and charging them like barbarians, only to be instantly killed by one hit. I think there are also some fascist themes in this movie since the head ninja has a swastika (?) on his head. Dont waste your time on this...rent a Sho Kosugi movie instead.