Micitype Pretty Good

AnhartLinkin This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

Jenna Walter The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

Arianna Moses Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

lttmoose I was flipping through the channels when I caught the very end of this, for lack of a better term, we'll call it a "movie". I saw an old lady dancing on a cliff. Then someone, I assumed he was the hero due to the cheekbones, shoves a torch in her face and she falls off the cliff.It was so utterly surreal that I wasn't sure if the movie was insane, or if I was insane and had created a vision of it in my madness. I resolved to record the thing the next time it was on and test the limits of my sanity. Yes, like a professor in a Lovecraft story, I had found a mysterious object that could warp your very mind and was convinced I could handle it. How wrong I was.There's not so much a plot as there are... several things that happen, none of which have any impact on the rest. Remember those cliffs I talked about? Well, get used to them, because almost every scene is shot on, in, or around them. Two kids play with something that looks like a tribble and one is kidnapped, inadvertently saving this poor kid from having to be in the rest of the movie. Three of Warrent's failed auditions for 'Cherry Pie' laugh on a video screen as a hula hoop prison twirls around what appears to be an older Ms. Frizzle from the Magic School Bus. A king is assassinated and the princess runs off to raise an army by not wearing a bra.I would like to reiterate: none of this matters. Not. A. Single. Bit. Except the part about the bra-less princess. I have a feeling that was the entire reason for this film being made.We then see the hero, he of the chiseled cheek, posing on a hill. His name is Ator, or Ugh-Toorrrrrr, or HrghTrgh, or whatever the actor is told to mimic, because English is clearly not their native language. Something happens with a woman burning his (or someone's, it's not entirely clear) house down with Ator inside. He survives by covering himself with a wet blanket and laughing at the concept of smoke inhalation.The movie then does what it does best: ignore what just happened and moves on to the next scene. The princess is running from some thugs on horseback and ErrTerr has to save her. She's taken captive by, and I truly wish I was making this up, tying each of her limbs to a horse. The obvious mannequin is then carried over a couple of pre-set spears. No, they don't stab her. No, she doesn't resist and dodge them. Her captors are just passing her over the spears five or six times while HrTuor kills them one by one. Somehow, they manage to keep the mannequin suspended even when they're down to one mook. Movie magic at its finest.I could go on like this. I really could. The movie never deviates from this pattern, one non-event following the next, each taking a bit of your soul away with it. The fights deserve mention for two reasons. One: there's no acting during them which is a nice break. Two: they provide a perfect example for how to do everything wrong. I showed the movie to two of my friends, both trained and certified stage combatants, and they punched me in the face for, quote "Ruining their careers by associating what they did with something like this," end quote. So there, this movie made two people hate what they do because it did it so bad. We're still friends, I deserved the face-punching.Music, costuming, cinematography, they're all the products of the '80's. Imagine a post-apocalyptic society rebuilding itself based on Mad Max and VH1 Classic music videos. Then shoot all that by a ten-year-old who got hold of daddy's VHS recorder and just figured out he can make people "disappear" by alternating the pause and record buttons. Set the whole mess to the worst synthesizer demo music you've ever heard wafting from the keyboard aisle at Wal-Mart and you've got Iron Warrior in a nutshell.

Boinky8 This is the third out of four Ator films, and the sequel to MST3K's Cave Dwellers. This is probably the best shot but least entertaining film in the series. It was directed by someone other than Joe D'Amato who tried to take the subject matter seriously and make a dark, brooding Ator film. However, Ator and seriousness do not get along well at all. All Ator films are horrible. However, the other three are so horrible that they become funny because of their plagiarized plots, cliché characters, toy quality props, and outrageous dialogue. This movie has hardly any of these. It seems like there is nothing to this movie except for Ator and a Princess running around on a beach and getting into sword fights with the same group of extras over and over again. There is almost no plot to this movie: Ator has to defeat an evil witch by finding the "Golden Chest of the Ages". The movie's ending is not satisfying and does not resolve any elements of the plot; it's more like the movie just stopped when they ran out of budget. There is also little dialog; although the lines that are present are among the worst in the entire Ator Series. The evil witch character gets more dialogue and screen time than Ator, and she really gets annoying after a while. Much of the movie's running time is taken up with scenes where the witch takes the form of almost every other character in the movie just to trick Ator and make him flabbergasted.The best part about this movie is the filming locations and the cinematography. It was filmed on scrub deserts and ancient ruins on the islands of Malta and Gozo, including some of the oldest stone structures made by humans. In fact, the buildings in which Ator cavorts about are far more interesting than anything that happens to him in this movie. You might get some enjoyment out of the scenic backdrop if you turn off the sound to avoid the terrible music and witch cackling.

HaemovoreRex I must admit to being quite a fan of the B-movie magic that the first two Ator movies possessed. Granted they were no masterworks for sure, but they held a curious fascination in their muddled execution that somehow made them innately enjoyable.Sadly the same enjoyment is not heavily abundant in this the third film in the series, which also serves as the last to feature the always great value for money Miles O'Keeffe (there is a fourth film, 'Quest For The Mighty Sword' but it has a different actor in the role of Ator)The very first problem with this movie becomes evident as soon as the films score begins to play.....it is merely a resequenced version of Gerry Goldsmith's theme to Star Trek: The Motion Picture! (and also the main theme to the series of Star Trek: The Next Generation) In fact, as the movie progresses we also hear that the 'composer' for this film has also ripped off some of John Barry's score to Bruce Lee's movie, 'Game Of Death', again slightly re-sequencing it in a pathetic attempt to cover his unscrupulous tracks.It quickly becomes apparent that it isn't just the music that has been stolen however.....the whole film has been compiled from scenes from other (infinitely better) movies!For instance, we find a scene in which the movies evil sorceress is imprisoned within some spinning hula hoops whilst being judged by an external council: Hmmmm Superman 2 anyone?Still....one could argue that this IS after all a B-movie, which usually by their very nature are shall we say, HEAVILY inspired by bigger, better films, so we could perhaps overlook such blatant piracy - erm, I mean inspiration.OK then, so what of the actual plot?This had a plot? If there was one then I'll be damned if I could decipher it. It just seemed like a series of random, unconnected scenes that flowed briskly past my eyes rendering me into a gormless stupor.Well OK, I've been a bit harsh, I'll attempt to relay what I THINK was happening......At the start we see Ator and his twin brother as children (yes this film completely throws out of the window the events of the first two films) Ator's brother is subsequently kidnapped by an evil witch who's motive is to prevent a prophecy that together, the two brothers will overthrow her.You can probably guess that the brother is then possessed by the witch's evil and that he and Ator years later will end up battling each other to the death.There is more to the 'plot' than the above of course but the boredom this movie carried really proved a herculean obstacle in me paying particular attention to it.I realise that I've painted a universally negative picture of this flick so far but in fact this movie does have a few things that actually work well for it.Despite all it's plot/screenplay weaknesses, the movie does admittedly look fantastic. It was shot on location in the splendour of Malta and the locations used are truly stunning to behold.Additionally, the film itself is rather interestingly shot, with virtually every cinematic trick in the book being used at one point or another. It has a very arty feel to it with lots of unusual lighting and fog for greater atmosphere in many of the scenes. In fact with the above combined with the extensive usage of slow motion, one could be forgiven for believing that one was watching an eighties conceptual rock music video!Finally we have the welcome presence of Miles O'Keeffe who looks great in his role of Ator (although, the distinct lack of any continuity between his character in this film and the previous two would surely suggest that this is indeed a DIFFERENT warrior named Ator altogether) Overall then, aside from the aforementioned positive aspects, this really is somewhat of a confused mess that I could not recommend to anyone.However, I suppose one good thing came out of watching this film..... looking at the beautiful scenery where this was shot, I might just book myself a holiday in Malta this year.

gridoon "Iron Warrior" introduces a new style both for Ator (he has black hair now, in a ponytail, and barely utters more than fifty words in the entire movie) and for the series itself. Director Brescia drops the silliness and campiness of the two D'Amato-directed "Ator" flicks in favor of a pseudo-arty approach. He employs every trick in the book: slow-motion, fast-motion(!), wide-angle lenses, cheap editing tricks to make people "disappear", etc. But the result in nothing more than a ponderous, often incomprehensible film that you may have to struggle to get through. The Malta locations are admittedly very beautiful, though. (*)