Ninja Terminator

1985
4.4| 1h32m| NR| en| More Info
Released: 01 January 1985 Released
Producted By: IFD Films & Arts Company
Country: Hong Kong
Budget: 0
Revenue: 0
Official Website:
Info

Three martial-arts students search for the Golden Ninja Warrior, a statue reputed to have magic powers.

Genre

Action

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Director

Godfrey Ho

Production Companies

IFD Films & Arts Company

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Ninja Terminator Audience Reviews

Intcatinfo A Masterpiece!
Baseshment I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.
Matho The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.
Raymond Sierra The film may be flawed, but its message is not.
Phillip Lawler All the ingredients to make this film are wrong. Everything about it is wrong, terrible, poorly directed, badly written, poorly shot and poorly acted. By some miraculous reason that defies logic, it works on a fantastic scale.The only way to make sense of this film is to fill your fridge up with crap beer and get a few like-minded friends around for a roller- coaster ride of giggles. It falls firmly into the category of 'so bad it is good'and lands on the top of the pile. Also, I couldn't really tell you what it is about. It just seems like a pastiche of ninja nonsense for you to gobble up and enjoy.Other reviewers have given a few minor spoilers for this film but it's best to enjoy the absurdities of this film as a complete surprise. You will get maximum laugh quality that way. Anyway, off to the shop you go and fill a bag full of beer and call your chums.
yaffleridesagain A cheap looking idol that splits into three parts grants the bearer immunity to rubber swords of all kinds. But only if he holds all three parts! Actually, it works with just the one bit as demonstrated by one of the mustachioed ninjas midway through the movie which, at a stroke as lethal as any ninjas blade, completely kills the meager plot logic the film has managed to piece together by this point. At first it looks as though the entire film is just going to be people beating each other up in a mall garden but the plot does start to develop towards something like a story later on.Meanwhile, Jaguar Wong wanders around getting involved with kidnappings and his scheming former lover. Everywhere he goes groups of three or four men attack him feebly providing intermittent filler for the already vague plot.All this sounds quite reasonable and par for the course but there are some decidedly strange additions. The ninja master uses a cheerful garfield phone for example, the mid-level henchman wears a woman's wig without explanation and the bad guy delivers his messages via cheap kids robot toys that someone must have had to walk right up to the door and place, rendering them less in the ninja style of stealth than say slipping the note under the door.I got a few laughs out of this movie, it's bad but in a good way. My favourite bit was the way the ninja master was able to completely hide his ninja double wife from his wife whose biggest worry in life is the crabs she's steaming for dinner escaping. Even stopping one escaping by hurling a shuriken across the room doesn't seem to arouse her suspicions!
Glen McCulla This truly is the greatest nugget of cinematic manna to emanate from the dream factory that is (or was) the IFD stable. Godfrey Ho and Joseph Lai - masters of cinema, verily, mightier than that saccharine Spielberg - sure knew how to knock out these gems.This opus in particular is a marvel. Check out the genius of ninja master Richard Harrison, with his Garfield phone, his penchant for shurikening helpless crabs, and his communiques from the Ninja Empire received via clockwork robot. At this point, my brain melted to mush.However, the kicking skills of Hwang Jang Lee, and the undiluted charisma of Jaguar Wong - coolest man in kung fu film history - kept me riveted to the screen like a rabbit in the headlights. As to whether our hero ever got to find Michiko's restaurant is unclear: I found it hard to see through the tears of hysterical laughter. Highly recommended for an evening of drunken ninja fun. Oh, and drunken crabs, of course.
jack_macmichael Ninja Terminator is quite simply the most amazing film I have ever seen, the mind truly boggles at it's unsurpassed magnificence.If you are expecting big budget production qualities or remotely recognizable actors then think again because this film has nothing of the sort. Essentially this movie is pure rubbish, but that is its charm. The total lack of cohesion between the plots of the two films that have been obviously hashed together will provide the viewer with undoubtedly the most hilarious experience of their lives. Fundamentally it's two movies for the price of one, the tale of Jaguar Wong, who has to defeat some evil syndicate boss who for some totally baffling reason sports a terrible joke shop wig, and "Harry the Ninga"(sic) who must defeat "Darren the Ninja" and some other guy to get hold of some miscellaneous golden object, which according to the blurb on the box will gain him "the super strength of the ninja sorcery". It must be seen to be believed, total lack of budget, total lack of talent, atrocious dubbing and editing and the most hilarious script you'll have ever heard.Once I finished watching this film I literally ached all over from laughing so hard, I nearly gave myself a hernia, there is no way that any movie could possibly even come to close being as side splitting hilarious as this epic catastrophe in cinematography.After watching Ninja Terminator you and those who have the pleasure of watching it with you will be united through the pure, unintentional comic genius of this film. Buy Ninja Terminator, it will change your life.